By: Dionna Lashall
There are so many of us in this generation that get caught up in a “situationship.” We think he likes us and that things are moving towards a relationship. He texts you all the time. You guys hang out all the time, maybe you’ve even met his family and closest friends… but now it’s six months in, and he still hasn’t committed to you. Here are 7 men that may like you but are not going to commit… and if your man is all of these, RUN! Quickly. Please.
Mr. No Plus One Events: He loves hanging around you all the time. You guys do everything together. You get invited to all the events. However, when it comes to the “Plus one events”… you know… the galas, work functions, weddings, etc., you receive no invite. This… is not good. Trust me. If it was a “plus one” event, and you were his girl, or he was heading in that direction with you, he would have invited you. The fact is, he doesn’t want it to seem as if he has a “plus one”. He also doesn’t want you to start believing you are his girlfriend. Red flag. Get out before you are too involved!
Mr. Let Me Warn Them: He tells you upfront that he is not ready for a commitment. When people tell you things, listen. Ladies, some of us believe that men just say these things, but that we will be that one to change his mind. It’s like a game to us. We love taking on a challenge. But hunny, if he says this, and you are looking for a relationship or you like him, Do not pass go. Collect your 200, and leave.
In order to get this man to commit, you will have to play games, manipulate, etc… and most times it will end the same way it started. With you finding out he’s not ready to be in a relationship. Save yourself the wasted time, energy and heartbreak and move on while you aren’t emotionally invested.
The FOBO Man: FOBO stands for Fear Of Better Options. He has problems committing to anything. If you ask him to hang out Friday. He says things like, “ Yea that will probably be fine”,“That’s a possibility” or “I’ll let you know closer to that date. “ What he is really saying is, “I could do that, but I don’t want to commit just yet because something more fun may come up.” This behavior is carried over into all parts of his dealings in life. He may think you are great, but he will feel that if he commits, some bangin’ ass broad that’s a 34 26 38, great in bed, that has a phd, making 130k will come along and he’s going to miss out because he’s with you. Therefore, he will not want to take himself off the market and chance missing someone amazing. Yes. This sounds crazy and so is he. Don’t waste your time!
The Ladies Man: He is REALLY into other women. Now we all look. I personally do not believe there is anything wrong with a man looking. However, when you are out together and his focus is more on other women than you. He’s winking, and smiling at other women. He’s not just doing an occasional glance but long stares. This man is most likely not done sewing his oats. He still may need to get out there and get the hoeness out of his system, before he can actually settle down and be with one woman. So while he may care about you deeply, he knows that he still wants to see other women as well.
The Professional Dater: He has a history of “talking” to women for months/years even. However, he will not actually commit to them. You know, the man where all of his past relationships he was “talking” to them for years before he decided to actually commit. Or maybe the girl finally finally left after years of waiting for just the girlfriend title. Chances are this man will take forever to commit to you as well…. if he even decides to commit at all.
Captain Obvious: He freaks out whenever marriage or commitment is brought up. Not by you, in general. His friend tells him that he’s getting married. He freaks out. You tell him your best friend just got married, he freaks out as well. His response is always negative or fearful of hearing anything about commitment. He’s always the one saying they’re too young or that’s not going to last. He’s always talking about his lack of single friends and appears to be really sad about it. Let me tell you, he wants single friends so he can go out and have single fun. Don’t be fooled ladies.
Let’s start shifting our generation from situationships back to relationships. We deserve better. If you are looking for a fling that’s different. If not, know the signs, and when you recognize them, leave. Save yourself from wasted time you will never get back, and an emotional rollercoaster that you did not have to ride. You don’t want to be the girl who thought they were in a relationship and then gets embarrassed. (For my Bachelorette fans ☺)
Thanks for reading BOW’s. Tell me about your experiences in the comments below!!! Follow me on IG @dionnalashall! ☺