The journey to self love is a unique one. We all reach the end of that journey at different times. Some of us grow up with an admirable level of self confidence, pride and contentedness. While others have to fight and dig and fail, in order to determine what it means to truly love one’s self. The latter must ask what does that look like, how does one achieve it?
I compare this journey to Alice’s falling down the rabbit hole; tumbling and floating between what I love, like and hate about myself. When I float, I am genuinely happy. I feel beautiful. I’m a new woman, who can take on the world. But floating is rare. I am normally tumbling. And while tumbling, I forget about the new woman I’ve become. Instead, a tiny condescending voice in my head reminds me of what I haven’t accomplished, of why I’m not good or pretty enough, of what I need to change. Tumbling is hard. It is a lonely and dark state that discourages progress and stunts my experience with love and appreciation of self.
In 2018, I want to float through my journey, not tumble. So how do I do that? I asked close friends what they did to find internal peace and achieve self love. Here’s what they said:
I practice self love by…
- Taking care of yourself. Making sure that you are in good mental and physical health – recognizing that those are intertwined.
- Working out regularly and eating well ensures that I feel energized throughout the day
- Sticking to self love tactics
- Hanging out with people who are positive and actively help me to reach my goals
- Believing that I am valuable and worthy of care
- Finding positive points in each of my identities (how I’m valuable as a sister, friend, daughter, girlfriend, etc.)
- Seeking spaces and people that reinforce and support the idea that I am valuable and worthy of care, respect and love
- Cleaning myself and my environment, eating food I enjoy, asking for help when I need it, advocating for myself to those that treat me like poorly, taking a day off, wearing nice clothes, getting my hair done, massages, facials, calling friends and family, napping…
- Trying to do things that’ll truly make me happy
- Honoring, recognizing and being content with every part of me – from what I see as positives to negatives in who I am.
- Meditating, contemplating and journaling
- Repeatedly saying mantras that are (1) self affirming, (2) self-fulfilling and (3) that replenish and pour into who you are and who you want to be
- Finding activities that you love and actually doing them
- Looking in the mirror with pride and confidence
- Respecting myself and being self accountable for pursuing a higher standard
- Having a daily reminder (in your phone or written where you can see it (bathroom mirror) that says whatever makes you feel
- Self-reflecting…which tends to happen on Mondays
So today, I resolve that I will do these things. I won’t do all of them, but I will find what works for me and implement them into my daily life.
I want to discover and embrace true love of self in 2018, and I think that this (affirmations, personal care, reflection) is a start in the right direction. What will you change in 2018 to be a better YOU?