Rashida KhanBey is a woman that deserves attention. She’s a Chicago based Women’s Sensuality Coach, Motivational Speaker, Writer & Filmmaker, and she owns the #reclaimingyoursexy movement. She believes that every woman deserves to be unapologetically themselves, no matter what size, shape, or color you are and wants every woman to feel confident while they’re being themselves. I interviewed Rashida about her movement.
Angela: How did you start on this journey?
Rashida: I went to Brazil and this was my second time going, except this time I was staying for two and half three months. I wanted to wear a bikini (giggles). You know I’m a larger bodied woman and wearing a bikini is something I was never encouraged to do because my stomach wasn’t flat, my thighs weren’t toned, and all of that so I kind of never did it. Brazilian bikinis are nothing and they barely cover the important the stuff. I was out on the beach and finally had the bikini on and I was walking down the beach with one of the guys in my program and this man who was playing a soccer game, at the time, came and stopped and bowed at my feet. It was a really strange but really awesome experience to be in this country where the ideal or ideas around beauty, body size, and body image were very different. That moment was a catalyst for me to feel comfortable and truly embrace my body as it was. To wear clothes that celebrated my body vs wearing clothes that kept my body hidden. So, when I came back from my study abroad, I started to teach a movement class where I pulled a bunch of different styles together and I created a safe space for women to come back to themselves and to feel good in their bodies. So, if they wanted to make changes, they did it from a place of love versus self-loathing or fear of not being enough if they didn’t lose the weight. I decided to continue to create these spaces for women to come and dance and then it took on a mind of its own after that.
A: How important is passion in the work you do?
R: I think it’s interesting because I think anyone that wants to get into the self-help industry has to really understand that you are taking on a mountain of work emotionally and logistically just in trying to create these safe spaces for people to come and heal. I get a lot of teachers that come to take my class and one of the things I am constantly reminding them of is that healing is a never-ending journey and it’s not a destination. I don’t really believe in this concept of the healed healer versus the wounded healer, not that any of us are broken, but I think that we’re all battling and facing different challenges and different obstacles each and every day just to be able to grow. So, to feel like you have to be in some big or stagnate place in your healing journey in order to start doing this work or to start helping people is kind of a ridiculous concept. So, I think the passion just comes from that or having the courage to continue doing your own work while you’re helping people and getting to this place of doing something that you actually believe in and can do long term.
A: What do you want women to walk away with after attending one of your workshops?
R: Permission. Permission from themselves to be free, to be uninhibited, to unravel, to feel all that life throws at them and to know that they can handle it. Permission just to be fully alive and to not have to numb themselves in order to get through their day to day life.
A: What drives or motivates you?
R: I think it’s really in some ways some of the experiences I’ve had in my own life where I could have very easily numbed out, stopped trying, stopped trying to really live and really thrive. I think it’s those moments that have really driven me to continue to do the work that I do because I know that I’m not alone in some of the things that I’ve struggled with in my life. When I meet women in different places and they’re telling me their stories, I’m just always in awe and encouraged to move forward because they seek out ways to find their aliveness and vibrancy again after some really traumatic experiences, whether it be in their relationships or dealing with the effects of sexual assault or grieving the loss of a loved one there are so many things that can happen and do happen in our day to day lives. So, seeing those women really push forward and really try to find a way to thrive again after some really devastating experiences is something that keeps me going and keeps me invested into how to make this work so that’s it real and potent and has the impact that I want it to have.
A: Why is it important for women to support other women?
R: I think because sisterhood is something. I can only speak from my own personal experiences about it. Sisterhood is something that really allows for us to thrive on things women see. Especially when they see what it is that you desire from your life and to hold you accountable. When you think about the concept of having a rich life, sisterhood is a major part of that and knowing that all the relationships we have in our lives really support and enable us to be successful and to have a deep sense of security in having a community we can go to in times of well and in times of need.
A: What’s one goal you have for 2018?
R: Write more. That’s really my biggest goal right now is to write more and to be more consistent with my writing as I’ve been doing the Reclaiming Your Sexy tour I have been ripping and running. It feels like nonstop all year and I’m so grateful to meet all the women that have been signing up for the classes, workshops, and whatnot. I would just love to be able to write more and maybe even start a book.
A: If there’s any advice you could give to your younger self, what would it be?
R: You’re worthy and stop listening to people that tell you that you aren’t worthy or who try to make you feel that you’re inadequate or that you’re not enough in some type of way because they’re wrong.
A: If you could describe your business in 3 – 5 words, which words would you pick?
R: Intimate, intense, vibrant, juicy, and sacred.
A: Lastly, any holiday plans?
R: My birthday is actually the day after Christmas so it’s two separate national holidays. Right now, I’m just really excited to spend some time with my family and to do some good cooking and some eating, definitely going to do some eating. Actually, my partner and I got matching onesies and we got one for the dog, an elf outfit for the dog. I’m excited to take family photos. Our dog is a little bad so we’ll see how this actually goes.
Rashida is extremely passionate about what she does. If you’re interested in reclaiming your sexy, Rashida has released the tour dates for 2018 and she’s still adding cities. Here’s the current list of tour dates http://rashidak.com/blog/reclaimingyoursexy2018. For more information you can check out her website, RashidaK.com, you can follow her on Instagram @rashidakhanbey, and you can check out her YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/RashidaKhanBeyProd